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Since every other vanity website has a page full of self-indulgent rants, here are a few of mine:
The Ford Excursion | ||||||||
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(ACK) | ||||||||
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| < < | You must have seen them - those little white ovals with three block letters written in them. They're based on the "country of origin" stickers used in Europe to indicate where a car is from, but now they're used for damn near anything and everything. The initial premise was arrogant and snotty ("gee buffy, the great unwashed will see our 'ACK' sticker and they won't know that it's the airport code for Nantucket airport, it will be our little joke, aren't we just the bee's knees!"), but at least it was limited to one little sandbar off the Massachusetts coast so it was relatively easy to ignore. Somehow, then, the fad spiraled out of control. Now every second-rate town and crappy top-40 radio station is printing the damn things, and people are just stupid enough to plaster them everywhere. | |||||||
| > > | You must have seen them - those little white ovals with three block letters written in them. They're based on the "country of origin" stickers used in Europe to indicate where a car is from, but now they're used for damn near anything and everything. The initial premise was arrogant and snotty ("gee buffy, the great unwashed will see our 'ACK' sticker and they won't know that it's the airport code for Nantucket airport, it will be our little joke, aren't we just the bee's knees!"), but at least it was limited to one pretentious little sandbar off the Massachusetts coast so it was relatively easy to ignore. Somehow, then, the fad spiraled out of control. Now every second-rate town and crappy top-40 radio station is printing the damn things, and people are just stupid enough to plaster them everywhere. | |||||||
| Here's a clever enhancement to the original (ACK) sticker: take a Sharpie and add a "t" at the front and a "y" at the back and with any luck the pretentious nouveau-riche social-climbing asshole will drive his Range Rover or Excursion around with people laughing at him for 6 months before he figures out what you've done. | ||||||||
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Lack of respect for Old Glory | ||||||||
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| < < | This one will probably get me flamed but here goes: It's been more than a year since 9/11 so it's time to take the faded, tattered, beaten and abused American flag off of the radio antenna of your Hyundai Excel rolling box of foreign-manufactured shit NOW! You are not showing respect for the flag by abusing it. The flag should be flown with respect and reverence, not laziness and lack of care. Sure, it takes time and effort to raise and lower the flag and you're a busy guy and there's lots of internet pr0n that you haven't seen yet but it's time to take that flag down and dispose of it properly. Here's a hint: if you're too lazy or stupid your local VFW or Boy Scout troop will probably do it for you. | |||||||
| > > | This one will probably get me flamed but here goes: It's been more than a year since 9/11 so it's time to take the faded, tattered, beaten and abused American flag off of the radio antenna of your rolling box of foreign-built Hyundai Excel shit NOW! You are not showing respect for the flag by abusing it. The flag should be flown with respect and reverence, not laziness and lack of care. Sure, it takes time and effort to raise and lower the flag and you're a busy guy and there's lots of internet pr0n that you haven't seen yet, but it's time to take that flag down and dispose of it properly. Here's a hint: if you're too lazy or stupid your local VFW or Boy Scout troop will probably do it for you. | |||||||
Is No Place Sacred?I had some time on my hands the other day and was walking around the Dock Square area of Boston when I stumbled onto the New England Holocaust Memorial. I walked through and found it very powerful and moving. It's composed of six glass towers that are entirely covered with the numbers of people who were killed during the holocaust. There's a path that you can walk down that takes you into each tower in turn where you see quotations from people who were in the camps. I was slowly walking along, pausing in each tower to read the quotations, until I got to the last tower where some asshole was standing, talking on a cell phone describing the memorial to someone on the other end of the line. Is no place sacred anymore? We're not talking about a movie or even a play or concert. We're talking about the memorial to 6 million people who were killed in the 20th century's greatest act of evil and you want to stand there yakking into a cell phone? | ||||||||
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| < < | -- TobyCabot - 02 Jan 2001 - 13 Oct 2002 | |||||||
| > > | I Want It, What Does It Do?Watching television has become increasingly frustrating recently, but the most annoying thing I've seen in a long time are the ads for medicines that don't say what the medicine does. "Ask your doctor about Tristatin Chlogycerol." I would ask my doctor if I thought that it would do something useful like make me belch less, but they don't give you any clue what the stuff does, and I'll be double-dog damned if I'm going to ask my doctor about some drug only to find out that it's designed to make you think you're cool driving a Hummer. -- TobyCabot - 02 Jan 2001 - 24 Jan 2004 | |||||||